Meet Joel, our resident dating expert. He’s no Tony Robbins. He won’t ask you to pay a zillion bucks to attend his seminars or ask you to walk on hot coals – ouch. He’ll just tell it like it is, from the wise POV of someone who’s out there dating — just like you! Ask Joel “What’s the Deal” or anything else.

Post your questions/comments to Joel in the comments section below. 

Dear Joel,
What’s the Deal?!?

Is it OK to call a guy I really like even though he doesn’t seem that into me? I’m scared! Not sure what to do…

—Not Sure

Dear Not Sure,
Here’s the Deal:

There are so many rules and double standards and exceptions with dating that you can drive yourself crazy going through all of the scenarios. Some women say they are “a bit old fashioned” and want the guy to make the first move. Others are proactive and will go after someone they want. You sound like you’re in the middle. Get out of the middle!

While it’s true that chivalry is sweet, if a guy you like isn’t showing interest, doing nothing will not make him come to you. If you see a five dollar bill on the ground, it’s not yours until you pick it up. So call him!!! Wait. How did you get his number? Did he give it to you? Did you do homework together? Or did you go through the phone book calling all the Mikes until you heard his voice… And then hung up.

Well however you got it, call him. See how he responds. Maybe you were reading him wrong. You have nothing to lose. If he’s not interested he won’t answer. If he does answer and isn’t interested he’ll duck out of the call. At least you tried. But if you’re wrong, and there’s even a small chance that he’ll fall in love with you or at least ask you out, you should take it.


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