Meet Joel, our resident dating expert. He’s no Tony Robbins. He won’t ask you to pay a zillion bucks to attend his seminars. He’ll just tell it like it is, from the wise POV of someone who’s out there dating — just like you! Ask Joel “What’s the Deal” or anything else.

Post your questions/comments to Joel in the comments section below. 

Dear Joel,
What’s the Deal?!?

I went on a few dates with a guy and he suddenly stopped texting or calling. We’re Facebook friends and I’m starting to go on his page all the time and see what he’s doing and I want to stop! I can’t though, I know it’s kind of stalker-ish but… what do I do!?


Dear Obsessed,
Here’s the Deal:

Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Facebook is so addictive it’s actually being used to treat crack patients.

You don’t need an out of work P.I. to tell you the dangers of Facebook stalking. It’s kind of like watching a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie: you know it’s a bad idea when you start, but once you start you can’t stop. 

If you really want to stop, ask yourself what you would do in real life. If you knew this guy was grabbing a drink with his co-workers, would you park nearby and watch? Would you conjure up a way to get on the guest list of Grandma’s 80th birthday party at the Olive Garden? Would you “check out” this guy fifteen minutes after every place he “checks in”?

If you answered yes to any of the above, seek immediate medical attention. If you said no, then don’t use the stalker anonymity of Facebook to turn you into someone you’re not. The danger here is that you’re putting him on a pedestal made of party pictures, witty comments and all of the reasons you think he’s lost interest in you.

This is not him. This is virtual him. Have patience. If he likes you he’s probably just been really busy. If he’s lost interest, accept that.

But when he calls, play it cool, maybe your next date can be looking at other people on Facebook together.


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