Meet Joel, our resident dating expert. He’s no Tony Robbins. He won’t ask you to pay a zillion bucks to attend his seminars. He’ll just tell it like it is, from the wise POV of someone who’s out there dating — just like you! Ask Joel “What’s the Deal” or anything else.

Post your questions/comments to Joel in the comments section below. 

Dear Joel,
What’s the Deal?!?

I gave my number to a guy and he texted me non-stop for two weeks but never asked me out, then when I suggested we meet up he went MIA. What’s up with that?

—Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,
Here’s the Deal:

My credo has always been that you can never know what’s going on with a person outside of your interactions with them. While engaging in a texting race to see who can dislocate their thumbs first has its moments, texting is not a real form of communication, so don’t expect a marriage proposal, LOL! There are plenty of rational explanations for why your SMS lover disappeared, so keep your chin up and read on…

1) He could have been talking to several women, and for whatever reason he didn’t choose you, sorry.

2) He could be really shy — a super pimp in 140 characters or less, but have less confidence than Lindsay Lohan’s life insurance company and be afraid to meet in person.

3) He could be in a bad relationship, and talking to you was just playing out a “what if” fantasy that could never come to fruition.

4) He could be a she and didn’t know how to tell you.

5) He/she could have been murdered.

Now onto the irrational explanations.

1) He could have been taken hostage by a band of Somali pirates, who although he became quite friendly with and entered into a beautiful cultural exchange, threw his phone into the water. 

2) He could have run out of cell phone minutes at the exact same time he ran out of all of his money, and then got taken hostage by a band of Somali pirates.

3) He could be a displaced time traveler who has come to love you, but lives with the anguish of knowing that if he ever touched you he would set in motion a chain of events that would result in your grandfather never being born, therefore preventing the Snuggie from ever being invented.

4) He could be dating M.I.A.

5) He might not really be a person, but rather an ad for Viagra that developed consciousness.


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